Coping with Loss as a Nursing Student
It’s already 4 in the afternoon, and time has flown by during your clinical placement, one of your favorites. With just three hours left in your shift, another nurse on the unit shares troubling news about a patient who had a challenging surgery earlier in the day. You both head to the patient’s room to assess the situation together. A sense of unease washes over you, and your heart skips a beat. The patient’s swollen abdomen looks familiar, but you can’t quite place why. As her nurse pulls up the medical history on the screen, it all becomes clear: you had observed her surgery in the operating room just last week during your PACU rotation.
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Memories flood back—how small she seemed, how delicate as she was transferred to the operating table. The procedure itself was quick, yet the team’s meticulousness in ensuring her stability stands out. You couldn’t stay long as you had medications to prepare for your own patients, but minutes later, a red flash caught your attention—the crash cart. Nurses rushed back to the room, drawing medications, setting a metronome app for compressions at 100 bpm.
Compressions, pulse check, medication administration, pulse check, compressions, and blood for a rapid transfusion—a cycle on repeat.
You knew it wouldn’t go on indefinitely, but the question lingered: how long? Amid thoughts, you try to process it all in real-time. Suddenly, the present snaps into focus—the room is still, hands no longer moving, rhythm strip flatlined. Asystole. The patient is gone.
Such situations are rare for nursing students. You spend around 7-12 hours a week, for 12 weeks, assisting nurses on the unit. Your duties revolve around critical thinking and honing hands-on skills. Preparing for the emotional and mental challenges of witnessing a patient’s loss is nearly impossible.
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Remember, it’s okay to grieve and feel. We might urge ourselves to be strong, to hold back tears because we didn’t know the patient well. But that mindset is wrong. Strength can coexist with acknowledging natural emotions. Regardless of the short time spent caring for the patient, you did connect in some way—with the patient and maybe their loved ones. Grieving a life lost is natural; staying composed helps you console the family, provide support, and offer post-mortem care—respect for the patient and their family is paramount.
Building emotional bonds with patients is a core aspect of nursing, yet during these moments, it’s also the most challenging. If you need to cry, take a moment alone after your shift—that’s fine. Afterward, leave the emotions behind, so they don’t weigh you down constantly.
How can you prevent these emotions from taking a toll on your life? The answer: the same way you separate work from home or manage stress. Some might confide in mentors, friends, or partners to share feelings. Expressing yourself to a sympathetic ear can help you process what you’ve witnessed. Others might opt for self-care activities—a journal, a relaxing bath, massage, music, reading, or watching a favorite show.
Caring for Yourself as a Nursing Student
Letting emotions consume you can hinder your ability to care for others. You need self-care before caring for others. You chose nursing for a reason; remember that, but also remember the diverse paths within nursing. Some situations might profoundly impact your mental well-being—accept that. If it does, evaluate where your best fit in nursing lies.
Nursing offers numerous opportunities based on interests—from pediatrics to geriatrics, oncology to rehabilitation, home care, education, management, and more. Certain experiences may help you uncover where you want—or don’t want—to work. No matter the path, ensure you’re doing what you love, what ignites your passion. That’s where you’ll thrive, becoming the best nurse you can be and delivering exceptional care.
Written by Alyssa Comille Vinzons, RN, BSN
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